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I am who I am. No matter what you do or say, I will never change for you... You don't have to care, all you have to do is shut up and read!
Went to work this morning and you must think that after so many years of being alone, i would have got used to it but I'll tell you that no matter, i always feel so lonely, cold and hopeless. Anyway i went out together with alik and he's actually a nice guy and i managed to sell 6 sets today (2 more than the previous day)! In this whole company, everybody has their own click and i feel so lonely and the only person that i feel close to is Lilian but she didn't come today! Anyway after i came back to the office and returned the money and all liao there was really nothing else for me to do as the rest had their own group and were planning to go eat together but me? I could only go home alone and buy food back to eat alone. On the way back home, i blasted my music as i wanted to numb and isolate myself from all these loneliness, coldness and the world! I really wish that this company is bigger like Juice Asia. This way i could make more friends and not be so lonely after work, going to work and going home from work! Anyway it's really a bad feeling for you to like somebody and not have the courage to tell them! I really wish that i can know Daphne better but I know that this would not be possible from my looks! How i really wish that i can be more friendly to people and have more friends but since young I have always been alone and all that i ask is to have more friends so i would not be so lonely but the friends that i have so far are just like a shadow in my life as when school reopened, none of the people that i know from juice asia has ever called me or anything like that and i have lost all contacts with my primary friends and the two persons that i really want to talk to again are Rashidi and Vincent but i have lost their contact number and why can't they call me? That's why i kee[ saying that my life is like a room without any windows or doors and it's really so dark in here and why can't somebody help me out of this room and bring light once again into my life? I really envy those who have brothers and sisters as since i'm the only child, i've always been alone since everyone is working and now that my mother has remarried, my realationship with her has become quite strained and my step father? I really don't want to talk about hime anymore. I just don't want to be alone anymore and have more light in my life. Is that too much to ask? If i die i wonder how many people besides my relatives would come to my funeral! My guess would be less than 20! I really wish for more friends and i'm not very picky. As long as you want to be my friend, i will treat you as one. Even if you did something really wrong to me all you have to do is apologise and all will be forgiven. That's not asking a lot is it?
x8vi3r 11:08 pm
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