Don't Look Here!!!!

Well I've just reached home and I the first thing that I'm going to do is to write this blog berfore I forget it all. So, here it goes. I've just got back from Jie Lin's house and I'm trying to finish this quickly so that I can like get ready for work. I didn't go to school for two days straight again and luckily these two days are my other modules that I have perfect record for so I guess it's alright. Last night was fun, first, we were to go to Shi Long's house but at the last minute, the venue changed to Jie Lin's house and because of that, I was late but supprisingly, I was like the first one there so we just hung around Hougang interchange and waited for Terrence and we went to Jie Lin's house to play majong which I've just learned but not so good at it but at least I managed to win once. After a while, Adrain came so we went down and fetched him and thus Siu Juan went home and later two more guys came KS and Alvin, I think, if I'm not wrong. So when we went up, we started, actually, only me and Adrian started drinking as the two guys don't drink and terrence and Jie Lin didn't want to drink so early. Soon, the two guys left and we started drinking and soon Terrence was knocked and he started sleeping so left me, Jie Lin and Adrian and soon we wanted to play some games but in the end, it all came to naught as no one was interested. Soon afterwards, Jie Lin's mum came home and her mum is actually quite friendly as later we managed to talk quite well with her and she was also crapping with us and she even offered her red wine to us which was delicious. Cheers! After like a while, Adrian went down to fetch Serene and only I, Terrence and Jie Lin was left in the room and during that time and the time that Adrian and Serene came up, I guess that was like the most fun time of the whole night even though it lasted for a while but soon things turned down hill. We were like drinking for a while then suddenly Terrence vomitted thus Jie Lin had to like accompany him and Serene was with Adrian so I was like left alone but never mind, I'm just used to it so I just went to sit in like a corner. After a while, Shi Long also came and soon there was like tensions between Shi Long and Jie Lin and I didn't want to get involved thus I just went out. So soon, they started sleeping but I was like wide awake so I just lied down there and pretended to sleep and after a while, I went to sit outside and during that time, I heard things which I wasn't supposed to hear. I mean, am I really that scary just because of what I write? Even Eva who is like one of the sweetest girl I've known doesn't think so and so it really felt like there was a knife at my back so I just went furthur away and just sat alone brooding. But soon, I went into the room and there, I saw some things that I wasn't supposed to see but I didn't want to say anything thus I just pretended but I knew what was like going on but there's nothing I can do about it because girls are just suckers for looks. (I don't mean every girls) This felt to me like someone was like turning the knife round and round therefore I just left the room and soon all of them went into the room and I was like all alone outside which was what I wanted as it gave me space to think and to clear my mind. So what if I have a slight mental illness? Must you jude me on that? Everyone just prejudges me without thinking about how I feel. I really feel like shouting at them that it's not my fault that I have this. I didn't ask to be like this, if I could choose howw I was to be, it defintely wouldn't be like this! I was in the room and I heard Terrence and Jie Lin talking about their parents and about how strict they are with them but they don't know how lucky they are to have parents who care about them unlike me who don't even know where my real father is, my step father is like constanly picking a fight with me and I don't see my mother often as she's always working and I don't talk much to her and I once even quarreled with her. I really wish that I had a real family, these people just don't know how lucky they are.

x8vi3r 2:38 pm