Don't Look Here!!!!

Why does it always seem that I make more enemies than friends? No matter what, I always make enemies. It seems that I'm just have to live a loner's live. Oh well, I'm just used to it now. I just have to learn to deal with it. I wonder will I ever find my happiness. Will you be happy if you had all the money in the world but you were all alone? Will you be truly be happy? I really wish that I had an angel here by my side and he or she would protect me from all harm and hurt by wrapping her wings around me that I would feel nothing but sweet comfort. I really wish that this was true but I know that this will never happen no matter how hard I wish it to be. Anyway, Im now in school and everything is the same and nothing has changed and as a result, I feel so sad that I have to write it all out as I don't want to bear it all inside of me. Why can't there be someone here to share all that I feel and keep me company whenever I need it. If I died, I wonder would I taste sweet eternal bliss or endles suffering? I really wish that I could find out. In the mean time, I can only sit in a corner all by myself and hope that the world pass by quickly. Would the world be truly ever be a nice place for everyone like an utopia? I really wish that it was to be and that everyone would truly treat each other with respect and all? Does the human faith truly hold strong? Will I ever be able to trust another person with such trust again? While everyone is celebrating father's day yesterday with their fathers, I'm just spent time alone. What good is a father when he leaves you while you're young and all that you can remember about him is the back view of him while he walked away on that fateful day. Why did he have to leave me? Did he know the amount of pain and anguish that he would cause to me once he left? Did he know that since young, I've always seen people having fun with their father and I'll always be wondering how it was like having a father and how I would be had it turned out differently. If he didn't want me, he should have never agreed for me to come into this world. Maybe that would have been a good choice as that way, I would not feel such pain now. Even though I have a step-father, it can never fill up the void inside of me. Maybe if he treated me well, it may not be too bad but now that things have come to this stage, I would rather my mother not remarry and I had no step-father. What good is he for? I can always survive without him. Why can't he just live me alone? Why has he got to come into my life? He's always picking a fight with me and if he hated me so much, why did he have to come into my life? He should have just left in the beginning. I just want to be alone. I don't need no father, the so called fathers in my life are just sad excuses for a parent. I don't need your false sympathy and pity. You should just stay out of my life, you don't know me and I will never change for you so just go and leave me alone. No matter how I try to forget about them, I can never do it and these memories will forever continue to haunt me. Father's day, it's meant to give thanks to the men who brought us up and heaped their love on us and does the people around me does that to me? I just want someone who truly cares for me by my side. I don't know why but I have been listening to emo songs these few days, just because I feel like to.

x8vi3r 1:52 pm