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I am who I am. No matter what you do or say, I will never change for you... You don't have to care, all you have to do is shut up and read!
I really don't know what to do anymore, just wish that there was some other way but there isn't. Everywhere I go, it's either a closed door or a dead end so I really have no where else to go. I'm like stuck in a constant cycle, like I'm trapped in a limbo. It's like a hamster constanly running on its wheel, always a cycle without a purpose. I just want to get out of this rat race. It's really so cold and lonely, would I ever find my comfort in this terrible and unfeeling world? I don't think so. I've totally lost the meaning and will to live. Everything is a damn freaking cycle, never ending and without a purpose or cycle.
Just want to find something worthwhile, why can't I ever be noticed? I'm like always in the background, the understudy. People just don't see or care at all. Just wish that people would acknowledge me so that I can feel that I'm real. I feel like a shadow to the world, just a passing figure not worth a second glance if people even bother to give me a glance.Really wish to find comfort in this world but all I can see is pain and suffering in this hurtful world. When will humans really change for the better? How I wish that I can hide in a corner forever but I can never do that. I really don't feel like going home as what's the use of going back to a cold and lonely house? Really don't feel much warmth there.
I've been hurt and cheated so many times that I've really given up all hopes, expections and I can't feel anything anymore. It's now just so numb! I cut myself to remind myself that I'm real and not just a shadow or invisible if not I'll really become so
Just wish that there was some other way but there isn't. Is there? I really wonder if life after death much better as since you're already dead, you won't feel the things that you're experiencing now.
It's like I need people in my life but at the same time, I'm pushing them away as I'm afraid to open up and trust people again after what I've been through.
I hide my frowns and troubles behind a mask of smiles so as not to upset the people around. I don't open much to people so this is one place where I can do so.
x8vi3r 1:32 am
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